distractions

so today i was really….idk i guess you can say STRONGLY PISSED that i wasnt able to go to the giants parade. i dont think a lot of people understood it. it’s like a once in a lifetime thing…how can you pass on an offer like that? it just doesnt make sense. there will only be the FIRST WORLD SERIES PARADE IN SAN FRANCISCO. there will be no other first. and my mom wasnt willing to let me go at first until she calls me about an hour and a half after the parade has already started and says that she regrets not letting me go. i went crazy. i went ballistic i tell you…just plain aldsgkja;dlkgja. and the thing is i was glad people tried distracting me. idk at the same time i was just feeling so….upset. like really. i dont knkow. i would give anything to redo this day and just get to go. like seirously i wouldve seen timmy and posey and bumgarner and wilson and cain and ross and huff and uribe and renteria and everyone. EVERYONE. and yeaa.

anywhos thats my big news for the day. but i think i want to talk about john. i dont know. i know i will never meet someone real like him. yes he’s good looking and talented but i think its the fact that he’s so humble. and so oblivious. people make him sound cocky or whatever, but all i can see is his sincerity and his kindness. i think his voice seeps into your soul. and it just shakes you, it makes you want to be alive, more alive than you’ve ever been. i don’t know if i’ve ever truly explained why i like him. some parts are unexplainable. he’s one of those people who is so flawed it’s admirable. from his past, i’ve seen that he isn’t who he is now. i respect him so much and how much change he has gone through. i want that. i want.