Archive for March, 2010

i’ll run

March 31, 2010

I can see it in your eyes, so scared
All these things they force you to do one thing
I’m here to chase away these tears
And baby we can chase away these fears

Because sometimes baby you fall on our back
Oh girl you’re three times the lady
I’ll ever have

And you know you know its true
This is a fight I refuse to lose

And I’ll run
Have a little faith in me
You’re scared and alone

And I’ll run
This is where we both break free
I’ll bring
You home, you home, you home

I can hear it in your voice
You care
Let me run my fingers through your hair
I’ll keep you company at night
And baby,
I’m here to make this right

Because sometimes baby
You fall on our back
oh girl you’re three times the lady
I’ll ever have

And you know you know its true
This is a fight I’ll refuse to lose

And I’ll run
Have a little faith in me
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
You’re scared and alone

And I’ll run
This is where we both break free
I’ll bring
You home, you home, you home

And I’ll run
Have a little faith in me
You’re scared and alone

And I’ll run
This is where we both break free
I’ll bring
You home, you home, you home

And believe in me
And don’t think twice
And don’t leave me
Or say goodbye
Believe in me
Believe in me
Tonight

and believe in me
and don’t think twice
and don’t leave me
or say goodbye
Believe in me
Believe in me
Tonight

If you have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
If you have a little faith in me

mmmm ;] im happy. i didnt really post yesterday. but i got that call from the beauty school and they said yes. maybe i’m not hopeless. lol well i feel quite accomplished. so thats really good. mmmm i have been slacking a little lately. but i wont keep that up. i promise. im much to busy to continue like this. i’ve been working. im kinda sad. i kinda dropped in my sat score. and that isnt cool at all. so that means dedication will pull through. but i havent been pulling any weight. hence the score change. but ive been listening to lotsa new music and going through a bunch of pics and writing my short story. sort of at least. im pretty happy. everyone else is super happy too. im actually really glad for her. shes happy. and i realized i dont know if i want to mention her name or not. even though itd be pretty obvious anyways. but yea. i’ve been doing pretty well. hmmmmm maybe i’ll post later. not much that i’m thinking of at the moment. soooooo laters XOXO

i feel

March 30, 2010

no sympathy. haha just kidding :]

well im getting a bit tired. thinking i was going to post something new since i havent done so in a long time. but i feel tired. so i’ll REALLY post in about later or so.

night XD

it’s not in the stars

March 24, 2010

why isnt anything written in black and white? i guess that should be a good thing.

my answers will never be answered. because my questions are too unrealistic. or even if they are, it just seems impossible to reach. and i know thats not true. i just have to find something more attainable i guess. it just hella bothers me. why am i able to just go up and down. why am i having these mood swings. it’s as if something else is controlling my life. and i dont like it. not one bit. i’m not content with having what i am listed out. i never was. and this is only one of the very things. i think i should probably talk about these things. instead of just hiding it. pretending or thinking i can solve this. i have a feeling though, that i’ll probably solve it on my own. cuz it just makes more sense to me that way. but that means i’ve got to get it through. through whatever i’m taking it through. it’s not going to make any sense.

You can change your life – if you wanna
You can change your clothes – if you wanna
If you change your mind
Well, that’s the way it goes

But I’m gonna keep your jeans
And your old black hat – cause I wanna
They look good on me
You’re never gonna get them back

At least not today, not today, not today
’cause

[Chorus:]
If it’s over, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
I’m just a bird that’s already flown away

Laugh it off let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven’t you heard that I’m gonna be okay

You can say you’re bored – if you wanna
You can act real tough – if you wanna
You can say you’re torn
But I’ve heard enough

Thank you… you made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
Do you see a single tear
It isn’t gonna happen here
At least not today, not today, not today
’cause

[Chorus]

If you’re over me, I’m already over you
If it’s all been done, what is left to do
How can you hang up if the line is dead
If you wanna walk, I’m a step ahead
If you’re moving on, I’m already gone
If the light is off then it isn’t on
At least not today, not today, not today
’cause

[Chorus 2X]

keep your head

March 23, 2010

thats the hardest thing i’m trying to do right now. shit. i’m so tired. and i’m so like screwed over right now. i always knew what i wanted to do. yet this knowing is like biting me in the butt.

The room’s green
It’s got writing
On the wall
It’s got one chair
It’s kinda small

Dirty shoes
Running past the door
And then you go round
Beat yourself up,

Ten minutes to go,
And I wanna go home
Ten minutes to go,
Yeah
I’ve got to go home
Ten minutes to go,
And the air
It don’t feel clear
Everybody disappear
You’re in it
On your own

Fourteen
Intimidated
And she’s just fourteen
She’s getting pulled
From the opposite side,
Until it breaks down
Blame it on
The wrong crowd
Stay, more make up
Hair dye

Ten minutes to go,
You know
She should have gone home
Ten minutes to go,
Yeah
You should have gone home
Ten minutes to go,
And the air
It don’t feel clear,
Everybody disappear
You’re in it on your own

You can’t sleep,
You know it’s over
But you just can’t sleep
You’ve gotta face it,
Gotta go outside
And do the day-walk
Living
With the lights off
Ain’t nobody home

Ten minutes to go,
You know
You wanna stay home
Ten minutes to go,
Yeah you wanna stay home
Ten minutes to go,
And the air
It don’t feel clear,
Everybody disappear
You’re
In it on your own

Keep your head
Keep your head
Just keep your head
Keep your
Head

You wanna keep
Ah
Keep it on
The right side
If you know
Your gonna be
Coming off
It’s gonna make you
Open your eyes
I said, now
Open your eyes
You know it
You wanna keep
Ah
Keep it on the low side
Yes you gonna see
Ten minutes to go (? )
And your keeping it
Heads up
Keep it low, be right
Push it kinda low

So, open your eyes

i’m tired. i’m just tired

im never one to forget

March 22, 2010

about the past. about friendship. but sadly i would be the most likely one to be hanging on. cuz thats just who i am. i guess i shouldnt expect too much. but its not fair how life pulls people apart.

i dont know why i’m so emotional recently. i mean it’s not like anything’s been happening. all i know is that i have a lot to do this week. and no matter what i do i have to make sure that i’m maintaining everything and nothing is going to fall apart. i can’t let that happen.

Everybody needs inspiration,
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the nights so long

Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy…

Yea when my world is falling apart
When there’s no light to break up the dark
That’s when I, I…
I look at you

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can’t
Find my way home anymore
That’s when I, I…
I look at you

When I look At You I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars Hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I Know I’m Not Alone.

Yea when my world is falling apart
When there’s no light to break up the dark
That’s when I, I…
I look at you

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can’t
Find my way home anymore
That’s when I, I…
I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me
Just like Kaleidoscope colors that
Cover Me, All I need every
Breath that I breathe don’t you know
You’re beautiful…

Yea Yea Yea

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can’t
Find my way home anymore
That’s when I, I…
I look at you
I look at you

Yea Yea Oh OH OH

And you appear Just like a dream
To me.

i wanna wear more bracelets and rings like tyson

March 21, 2010

i am going to start doing so. but dammit i dont have as many cool ones as he does. he has like an arm of awesome chains. LOL :] but yea that’d be hella cool!

i dont want to do hw. so i’m kind of reading ap from karen and not doing work. but i will i promise :] 

Down in a local bar
Out on the Boulevard
The sound of an old guitar
Is saving you from sinking
It’s a long way down, It’s a long way

Back like you never broke
You tell a dirty joke
He touches your leg
And thinks He’s getting close
For now you let him
Just this once
Just for now
And just like that
It’s over.

[Chorus]
Don’t turn away
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don’t be afraid
But keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard
For the Belle of the Boulevard
In all your silver rings
In all your silken things
That song you softly sing
Is keeping you from breaking
It’s a long way down, it’s a long way

Back here you never lost
You shake the shivers off
You take a drink
To get your courage up
Can you believe it?
Just this once
Just for now
And just like that
It’s over

[Chorus]
Don’t turn away
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don’t be afraid
But keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard
For the Belle of the Boulevard
In all your silver rings
In all your silken things
That song you softly sing
Is keeping you from breaking
It’s a long way down, it’s a long way

Back here you never lost
You shake the shivers off
You take a drink
To get your courage up
Can you believe it?
Just this once
Just for now
And just like that
It’s over

[Chorus]
Don’t turn away
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don’t be afraid
But keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard
For the Belle of the Boulevard In all your silver rings
In all your silken things
That song you softly sing
Is keeping you from breaking
It’s a long way down, it’s a long way

Back here you never lost
You shake the shivers off
You take a drink
To get your courage up
Can you believe it?
Just this once
Just for now
And just like that
It’s over

[Chorus]
Don’t turn away
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don’t be afraid
But keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard
For the Belle of the Boulevard

still up

March 21, 2010

i’m still up. yes i know it is like 1:30 in the morning. haha of a sunday. still not terribly odd. but i just wanted to post something. i had my junior prom today. yes world, everything you could possibly say, it was somewhat overrated and the dj pissed me off. i mean i dont need to explain again but how can people be soooo stubborn. and fucking retards at that. i mean i am stubborn too. but i know when to comply….usually. EFFING 5 times? and still not playing my awesome prom party mix cd. that is just a fail.

honestly i had a really awesome time getting ready. i was able to chill with my best friends. and when people started coming i was getting flustered by really excited too. haha i think the best part was seeing the smile on my mom and my sister’s face. my dad too. kinda he was trying to “fit in” LOL but i love them so much. jonathan was very mean to me today. he usually says he loves me the most so i dont know what happened. HAHA :] but yea they were so great and stuff. it was just really fun to hang out with friends. then we went to dinner. i realized i think i tease people to loosen up tension. hmmm idk i think i’m pretty good at bringing people together too though. but who knows? maybe i’m just being a bit of an egocentric in that aspect. and my mom is right. i love friends. i put them on like  a pedestal. theyre just SOO important to me. so any of YOU friends of mine out there. i love you guys. and you know who you are too :] and to continue the PARTY BUS WAS AWESOME. it really was. it made me feel like i was in the movie 21 and stuff like that. if only we were going to VEGAS lol XD but yea that was really amazing. it was so different from what we expected and it was just exciting. by the time we got to the dance i think we were mostly excited. everyone took hella candid photos. from like nowhere :] but that’s theyre specialty. my feet did start aching. but my dirty little secret is that i wanted them to hurt. i wanted to continue walking as some kind of proof that in the future i can make it. what i want to work in, is a big world. i need to be walking in 4 inch heels like all the time. so i was trying to push myself to stay in them as long as i possibly could. but then they started numbing tingling ish so i took em off. and i litereally screamed “LAND!!” haha im so weird. we danced to some cool songs. but some were just outright lame. it makes you question taste. you know? i mean i love pop. but ok no matter how badly i hate justin beiber, i was hoping his song would play. because that would mean the music came from this year, this time. not from like 2008 2009. not that i mind those songs. ok fine some of them i did but still. like i expected different. and stuff like that. it was very offtrack to what was thought to happen. i  mean there were issues here and there but i’m glad there weren’t any between us. i mean the only thing was that friends and dates werent being as happy as they could. and rellers a bitch. and sometimes lynbrook or just adults can be unreasonable. and not even a little unreasonable. like COMPLETELY unreasonable and just unfair. ok i get that life’s not fair, but it doesnt like change the fact that you’re denying our right to dance, our freedom to express ourselves. especially since we’re paying like what 50 60 bucks to have fun at a prom. and we’re banned from doing things. its just bothersome. so was my stomach. it hurt like almost the entire time.

anywhos. so we left early. which was one of the smartest choices we made of the night. we just randomly rode around in the party bus and it was hella fun. we had truth or dare but it was more like dare or dare and it was so carefree and relaxing and chill. it felt like a real night out with friends. we listened to music, had some singing, a little bit of pole dancing, accents, kissing cheeks and hands, just having fun. but it was insane and awesome.

and i kind of want to leave it at that. night XD

smart, am i not?

March 18, 2010

so today i was in physics tutoring class and there was this other guy who was from a different school but he was on the same chapter as me. our tutor was kinda busy dealing with the chapter on light or something which is way irrelevant from our topic, which was circuits, even though its all part of physics. so i offered to help him a bit. and the george (my tutor) was all like yea thats a great idea. so i started helping him. thinking i knew stuff. and like the thing is i kinda understand why you start second guessing yourself. you know who i’m referring to. but yea. afterwards when george was trying to teach both of us, i got it, and i was actually right when i was teaching him. see, trusting your guts is a big deal. so yea that kind of made me happy cuz i actually understand this lesson. yes i have to memorize a bit more vocab but like this isnt one of those difficult, i wanna cry cuz im gonna fail type of test.  so that kind of made me happy. what else? hmm i dont know i think the weather too. which made me sad cuz my mom was like just apply to california cuz your always going to be a california girl. but i definitely think that i will apply to other universities and colleges to see if i can get in and stuff. anywhos

i finished my eap essay. and still not my one shot. i’ve almost finished french. ive been thinking about how people like to do things anonymously. i hate anonymous. its pretty darn stupid. actually i hate it. its so irresponsible of people.  the reason why i’m even speaking of this is i cant stand people using formspring. (people who shall remain nameless) enjoy it. and i think its the stupidest thing in the world. it literally is an online burn book. no life whatsoever. and not even that. i totally agree with what miley cyrus says. internet ruins people. i wish i didnt rely on it so much. its like a monster taking apart our souls. it leaves us soulless. yes we chat on facebook. or contact loved ones through myspace. oh we get random creeper compliments from formspring. and we also get the real cruel harsh and stupid idiotic moronic rude shameless sad gutless wimp comments from people who dont have the guts to say it to our faces. that is just coldhearted.

and then some people mention the wisest things. unexpected. like shannon. she seems very shallow. but she isnt. like we talked about how the world either knows too much or we as a human race know too little. its so true. and i totally agree with her. its sad. isnt it though? like there’ll never be a balance of such?

PS ive never been insulted by formspring and i dont use formspring though i did in the past for like two three questions but not anymore in the future and i think that people should just quit being assholes

anyways :] well ima sleep nite nite XD

belle of the boulevard

March 17, 2010

you know how guys and gals  usually say “oh i like your outfit” its so much cooler to hear “that’s a really nice ensemble” hahahah :] yeapp it just sounds cooler.

i have a physics test on friday. fun right? not only that, i have to finish the john o one shot. because that was my schedule. no changing it no how. i’m actually almost done so it’s ok. but still. i’m like very tired in a hyperish way. i dont want to sleep too late. so i think i’m going to do everything faster :] i’m quite excited to do my permit test soon. i still have to study a bit. but yea. i got a little bit nervous. i mean i was always excited for college but the preparation kind of scares me. soo……idk right now its focus time. but i should make a definite list of what i’m going to do next year, so i don’t end up overwhelming myself

“she’s adorable as hell. she’s got me begging on my knees. now i’m so into it” -artist vs. poet theyre such cute lyrics :]

i’m kinda

March 16, 2010

pissed. right now. and its a lot of things. besides the fact that today was really long….its just i dont need stress. i got into an argument with my mom about taking naps. ok i’m sorry. but my habit is that if i’m stressed i tend to take naps. i dont binge. i take naps. so why cant i do that? ok yes. you’re right. it’s better to get everything done. and yes i have been slacking off a little bit. it’s cuz i just want to. i will get back on track. and i know myself well enough now that i will. i’m not willing to let myself be a walking procrastinator anymore. that’s not me anymore.

another thing that bothers me is i know that im not high maintenance. ok i know that. its just i’d rather have the option of saying i want less rather than getting less and not have the choice to get more. i know its really immature and childish but i feel like i’m the man in this “thing” this prom has become so stupid and so pointless and so not worth every waking hour my life. that i almost dont even want to go anymore. and THAT SAYS A LOT. anybody who knows me knows that i was pushing them to go. stag even! and now like. this thing is becoming a fucking expensive burden. karen you know i almost agree with you. i’d rather spend fucking 15 dollars and a fucking awesome THIS PROVIDENCE concert. and that fucking would be a better use of my time. because i’m not fucking spending like $400 which is probably more than he is spending. not saying that it’s his fault but i think i really want a guy in the future who is financially ready and stable because i’m not implying that i’m real expensive because i’m not. i’d rather work my ASS off to earn my money. that’s just who i am. but the fact that i have to pay so much for a DATE? is unreasonable. god stag sounds so good right now. maybe i’m just pissy. maybe i’m pmsy too. i dont even want to talk to him at the moment. because i’m fucking annoyed and tired and stressed. what the hell?! why do pictures have to be FUCKING $60. thats ripping me off right there. the feeling of giving away money sucks too. fresh bills suck even more. this is sooooooo not in my control. if anything ruins my fucking night i’m just gonna shrug it off. cuz what else can i do?

calm down jocelyn. you need to work on french. turn in your huck finn essay. and then study for physics. and afterwards do some drivers ed. and maybe some sat stuff